My moments

I can honestly say i didn’t enjoy moments to myself enough before child. I also didn’t sleep in enough, exercise hard enough or sit in silence enough. I didn’t sit with my hot cup of whatever enough. 

However moments with my other friend Mum’s are my new enough. They understand how holding ones beautiful offspring so you can enjoy a hot latte and hold a somewhat normal conversation. They are the friends that understand that I have to talk about every topic in my head in 2 minutes flat understand that a babies smile can turn into a fit of cries at the drop of a hat. Then I try to listen, absorb some of the conversations that go on, only to realise I’ve probably just been focusing on happy smiley baby so much I don’t know if my response is correct. Oh the joys of being a dedicated mother! 

Now I cannot sterotype I do love all my friends equally. My friends who have parented their own siblings in a way don’t think I’m losing my mind. And the friends who love baby cuddles are so helpful. My 7 1/5 kilos of baby does get handed back due to his sheer weight (I love you chubby bubby)! 

While I don’t think I enjoyed my wild and free days “enough”, I never imagined I could ever love another human being as much as I do my son. For me there will never be enough cuddles, never enough time together and never enough hours in the day. Some days I lay in my bed and hope I have loved my little boy enough. I would never wish for my single days back,  however enjoying a hot shower, little sleep in and having my pre-baby face on would be nice (in small droplets). 

This photo was taken at the end of the day. I know I probably needed a good filter on it. But this is me being a raw mother. I know I’m enough and that is something to raise my glass to!

Advertisements

If the shoe fits

While I was quite pregnant I started (and very like me never finished), a book about healing and your journey on this earth. It spoke about why someone experiences certain challenges or events. For me much of my married life has been a roller coaster of challenges. In my married life the celebrations have been far and few. I’ve experienced so many things I honestly do not wish on any of my friends or family. A marriage should be built on trust, love, respect and honesty. It’s not about things, or about feeding one urge more then another. If one feels so selfish in one obsession or addiction perhaps they should walk alone.

I hope my journey so far has got me closer to the shoe that fits. I know in the book it said sometimes the lessons or challenges of this life were the pay back lessons for a previous life. Well I’ve learnt my lesson- don’t lie, steal and don’t take people for granted. These things combined make for a woman who is stronger and questions everything that people claim to be. 

Today has been a celebration for my post pregnancy body. I’m in my jeans again! And they feel like they fit exactly how they did prebaby! I am not over working myself to look a certain way as my baby boy means more then any crash diet. And let’s be honest being a parent requires regular trips to the chocolate cupboard!

Comfortable Friday 

Well if last Friday was good Friday, today is comfortable Friday. I am totally Mumming it today. With a baby that wishes to be held all the time I have my hands full.

The body take overs for Mothers begins in pregnancy, what the world forget to mention is you will never be here for you. Your body, mind, (sleep) and bed are all shared once that baby enters the world. 

What I wished and hoped for in my pre baby life on a Friday was a big cold cider, some salty hot chips and some belly laughs with my work mates. Now days I’d be happy to sleep past 6am! I would also love take away on the couch, that will be eaten with both hands and maybe a glass of red. All in silence, no laughter or words needed. 

Maybe maternity leave is to keep non child baring people seperate from the throws of the real life of new parents. My conversation topics these days have evolved, just like my activities of choice.

My baby slows me down, reminds me that the washing can wait. All that house work, and driving about has nothing on baby cuddles. These are Fridays money can’t buy. 

That coffee Mum

Shout out to the other Mum’s who are getting out and about with their little ones. Before child, if I were going for a walk with my friends I would be up 10 minutes before the walk to throw on clothes, brush my teeth and fill my water bottle. After child I’m up at least an hour and a half before, minimum! Now I have to dress myself, feed myself and baby, prepare bottles, nappies and 2 changes of clothes and dress the baby appropriately. This hour and a half evens puts in a small baby nap prior to storming out the door.

Walks these days can be a jolted dance of walking fast, slow, over bumps or picking up my 7kgs of a baby and walking in between cries. I walk with other Mums as they understand me. I walk with other Mums because I was once the friend without kids who didn’t understand tired or even fathom a decent reason to being late. I walk with other mums so I’m not judged on my whaling baby, or stared at to pick him up and stop him straight away. 

I then turn to coffee after this great walk as I need the caffeine to get me through the next many daylight hours of feeding, crying, walking and rocking. I will never again call women “the coffee mum’s” as I snigger at them. I will never judge a woman who chooses to stay at home with their little ones. Work is definitely an easier option on some days. My coffee date saves me, makes me feel human and adult for a blink in my day. And all of this with other Mum’s who have become my wolf pack. 

The best thing about my new wolf pack is I don’t have to always look my best. And I am the least judged I have ever felt in my life. Happy days.

Today I’m sporting my natural fizzy hair, h&m basic t shirt and maxi skirt from st frock. Today my outfit is fit for the couch after my coffee date with the mum’s! 

Not what I ordered

Just like a take away meal, you don’t always get in life what you ordered. It’s the way you deal with the unexpected that matters. A lot of the time it really depends what is given to you instead of what you ordered that can make or break you. Sometimes you discover a prize dish, or life changing event. Or sometimes you feel ripped off as you really wished for what you had originally ordered.

This is the story of my life at the moment. For me all I wanted was a vanilla flavoured life. Sometime simple  with a splash of adventure from time to time. Oh hell I would have been happy with just plain jane vanilla. But I got the flavour that no one ever really orders. It’s as if I ordered chilli chocolate ice cream. But for me there is far too much chilli and the cream is curdled beyond fixing.

Sometimes you have to take that order back and ask whoever it is in charge to start again. And so I am currently back at the take away shop, waiting for the vanilla life I long for. All in all I haven’t lost hope for my original order. I am not asking for more then I ordered and not asking for anything beyond the rainbow.

My new order does come with a small human. He is telling me that it’s important to get the order right, it’s important that he has a happy Mumma. 

Look and much like this asos dress (it’s made out of stretchy material like a t shirt) I am open for getting more then I ordered. Lets be honest everyone loves getting an extra potato cake or dimsim. 

New found glory

Before child I recall the things that got me excited. I used to love to try a new place to eat and hang out with the in people. Now my pleasure is much easier reach with a movie in peace on the couch with a home made delight and cheap glass of wine. 

A lot of things have changed. I also find fun in shopping in my own wardrobe (or 101 space bagged clothes). I laugh and throw out some of my bad choices. But I also bask in the glory of finding a treasure I buried and forgot. 

As my baby naps I sit and watch Gatsby for the first time. What a fabulous array of gorgeous fashion! Now people you do know where you may find a slice of this wonderful fashion? If not in your Nan’s wardrobe but in your local op shop! 

In my early days of work I always admired a lady’s fashion choices. She was always looking fresh, colourful and quirky. Her secret- only buying from op shops. Her exception was a new seasonal pair of shoes. Now the purse strings are tight I may need to venture more so into the local op shop. I am no second hand snob. I feel these treasure are hidden and waiting for their next adventure. It is also good for the environment. Another thing that has changed!

While I enjoy being a Mum, wearing my child’s latest spew explosion, I look forward to my first night out. I was no lover of pregnancy and haven’t felt it to be right timing to unleash myself on the public. A new Mum can be too raw and real for the public eye. 

Becoming a parent means switching a few things of yesterday and finding a new kind of fun. When I’m in my car and the right song comes on I am back where ever that song takes me. My glory days were fantastic. I regret nothing and lived, laughed and partied as hard as I could.

Today I found a dress in my cupboard I found in one of my local op shops. This dress has a 70’s flare. It is perfect for lounging and spending time with bubs and my fur family. It also allows this Mumma bear to enjoy a choccie or two! 

Give the Mum’s a break!

As I sit sipping on my coffee as my tiny stick of dynamite (my son) has a snooze I am getting over the news. Having been awake since the early hours of the morning- your not breaking any news 10 times over. I love an over exaggerated story but do we need to blow it up and repeat it 1000 times before I have my morning coffee break? 

Since becoming a Mum I feel I have slipped back into my advocate boots. I do walk with my head held high and have no problem saying my two bobs worth and this topic is no different. For my friends who believe maternity leave is a holiday- it is not! Having a baby is also not a means to get out of work, in my work it would be easier to go to work. Unlike my employed childless friends I do not get annual leave from this, a coffee break is as long or as quick as the baby stays quiet. And yes I chose this life and am ever so grateful. 

Also Mum’s know tired, it is torturous at times. Again I would not change a thing, I just now look at other mothers differently. I also look at heavily pregnant people running about thinking I wish I could tell you to put your feet up and have a rest. 

If I am lucky enough to have another baby one piece of advice I’m giving myself is a babymoon, and just for me. I want to go away for a night to a lovely BnB near the sea. I will sleep like a star fish in the bed, sip on hot tea, eat with both hands and not worry about my next load of washing! I will also enjoy some toilet time without having to rush back to a roaring baby.

Oh how wonderful is hind sight? 

Today I am again supporting small businesses and wearing another Little Party Dress frock. It’s for my Easter celebrations with my beautiful high school friends and mother group. Only my son didn’t get the memo and is sleeping through the time I was supposed to be thrashing through Coles. Oh well life can wait for a minute 😊