Not what I ordered

Just like a take away meal, you don’t always get in life what you ordered. It’s the way you deal with the unexpected that matters. A lot of the time it really depends what is given to you instead of what you ordered that can make or break you. Sometimes you discover a prize dish, or life changing event. Or sometimes you feel ripped off as you really wished for what you had originally ordered.

This is the story of my life at the moment. For me all I wanted was a vanilla flavoured life. Sometime simple  with a splash of adventure from time to time. Oh hell I would have been happy with just plain jane vanilla. But I got the flavour that no one ever really orders. It’s as if I ordered chilli chocolate ice cream. But for me there is far too much chilli and the cream is curdled beyond fixing.

Sometimes you have to take that order back and ask whoever it is in charge to start again. And so I am currently back at the take away shop, waiting for the vanilla life I long for. All in all I haven’t lost hope for my original order. I am not asking for more then I ordered and not asking for anything beyond the rainbow.

My new order does come with a small human. He is telling me that it’s important to get the order right, it’s important that he has a happy Mumma. 

Look and much like this asos dress (it’s made out of stretchy material like a t shirt) I am open for getting more then I ordered. Lets be honest everyone loves getting an extra potato cake or dimsim. 

New found glory

Before child I recall the things that got me excited. I used to love to try a new place to eat and hang out with the in people. Now my pleasure is much easier reach with a movie in peace on the couch with a home made delight and cheap glass of wine. 

A lot of things have changed. I also find fun in shopping in my own wardrobe (or 101 space bagged clothes). I laugh and throw out some of my bad choices. But I also bask in the glory of finding a treasure I buried and forgot. 

As my baby naps I sit and watch Gatsby for the first time. What a fabulous array of gorgeous fashion! Now people you do know where you may find a slice of this wonderful fashion? If not in your Nan’s wardrobe but in your local op shop! 

In my early days of work I always admired a lady’s fashion choices. She was always looking fresh, colourful and quirky. Her secret- only buying from op shops. Her exception was a new seasonal pair of shoes. Now the purse strings are tight I may need to venture more so into the local op shop. I am no second hand snob. I feel these treasure are hidden and waiting for their next adventure. It is also good for the environment. Another thing that has changed!

While I enjoy being a Mum, wearing my child’s latest spew explosion, I look forward to my first night out. I was no lover of pregnancy and haven’t felt it to be right timing to unleash myself on the public. A new Mum can be too raw and real for the public eye. 

Becoming a parent means switching a few things of yesterday and finding a new kind of fun. When I’m in my car and the right song comes on I am back where ever that song takes me. My glory days were fantastic. I regret nothing and lived, laughed and partied as hard as I could.

Today I found a dress in my cupboard I found in one of my local op shops. This dress has a 70’s flare. It is perfect for lounging and spending time with bubs and my fur family. It also allows this Mumma bear to enjoy a choccie or two! 

Give the Mum’s a break!

As I sit sipping on my coffee as my tiny stick of dynamite (my son) has a snooze I am getting over the news. Having been awake since the early hours of the morning- your not breaking any news 10 times over. I love an over exaggerated story but do we need to blow it up and repeat it 1000 times before I have my morning coffee break? 

Since becoming a Mum I feel I have slipped back into my advocate boots. I do walk with my head held high and have no problem saying my two bobs worth and this topic is no different. For my friends who believe maternity leave is a holiday- it is not! Having a baby is also not a means to get out of work, in my work it would be easier to go to work. Unlike my employed childless friends I do not get annual leave from this, a coffee break is as long or as quick as the baby stays quiet. And yes I chose this life and am ever so grateful. 

Also Mum’s know tired, it is torturous at times. Again I would not change a thing, I just now look at other mothers differently. I also look at heavily pregnant people running about thinking I wish I could tell you to put your feet up and have a rest. 

If I am lucky enough to have another baby one piece of advice I’m giving myself is a babymoon, and just for me. I want to go away for a night to a lovely BnB near the sea. I will sleep like a star fish in the bed, sip on hot tea, eat with both hands and not worry about my next load of washing! I will also enjoy some toilet time without having to rush back to a roaring baby.

Oh how wonderful is hind sight? 

Today I am again supporting small businesses and wearing another Little Party Dress frock. It’s for my Easter celebrations with my beautiful high school friends and mother group. Only my son didn’t get the memo and is sleeping through the time I was supposed to be thrashing through Coles. Oh well life can wait for a minute 😊

We all have “our people”

Being a new Mum and being social had me biting at the bit to join Mothers group. Some people love it and I’m sure some people loath it.

In the initial stages I recall desperately seeking out friendships. I probably even blogged about just wanting to be friends with anyone who was interested. But in reality we only really form bonds or friendships with people we consider “our people”. If you think deeply about this along the track of life you may have had friends for a season. These are the people who push your boundaries and live slightly off your grid. They are great for a purpose but you will sit back and Years or even months and think “what the hell was that?”! I know I’ve had them and by all means they were fun, in my 20’s and before baby. 

Now I really just want to gather more of “my people”. They lighten the load and connect me to me. They share the same values, have deep and interesting conversations, we laugh at the same things and even have similar interests and ideas. 

I am flattered as today I was having coffee with someone who hand picked me as “their people”. It’s nice to make connections in the world, especially as an adult.

While your people don’t always look, dress or even act exactly how you imagine they do make up the puzzle pieces of your life. 

Friendships will be made. And a shallow person may see certain forms of friendship as “using” one. But I put this down to “reasons” for a friendship. Everyone needs a squad who cheer and inspire. For me I love a friend who motivates me both spiritually and physically. I want to be fit but sometimes lack the motivation. Spiritually I know there is something out there to have faith in, I just need some bible bashing from time to time to believe it. I also have wine time friends, and the friend that encourages you to eat (or to give it a miss). 

And I haven’t made close friends in my new circle, but I will. I just won’t love everyone like I do my old people!

Today my dress is from Little Party Dress, a small business who at times I think is part of my people for understanding a curvy lady and mother!

Selflessness builds selfishness 

Who would have thought while attempting to be as selfless as possible I was helping grow someone else’s selfishness. There is a great balancing act that happens in a relationship, a healthy relationship should I point out. In my attempts to be more selfless for my son and in attempts to support my husband I’ve totally forgot the balance. It’s leaving me feel a little empty at the end of each day.

So how am I trying to get the balance right without tipping too far to one side? I am starting small by taking time out to have a cuppa or wine in peace. I’m going to the hair dresser or beautition without as much guilt. As the world keeps on turning. My child’s life will be richer learning that it’s as important to be selfish as it is selfless. 

People will always take advantage, but following my heart (where ever it goes to next), I will attempt to live somewhere in the middle. And a good relationship with your partner in crime will grow this balance.

Just as I attempt to live in the middle I will also live attempting to wear all the pretty things I’ve collected! Today I have an asos maxi dress on. Perfect in between seasons frock! 

Returning it if it’s not right…

This month I have learnt a new skill. A skill I am going to take into my life and help myself transform. I have learnt to return items of clothing if they are not right.

I have always lived a little bit of a lie when it comes to my clothes. Just like people, I hold onto items of clothes that never really looked good or made me feel good. As I have gotten older (and hopefully wiser) I have learnt to return or sell off anything that doesn’t sit or feel right. 

Sometimes in a relationship we try to make it fit. We try to bend it, stretch it or even alter ourselves for people when we really shouldn’t have to do this. In this world it takes different people to make it turn. You need to be the authentic you. And if you feel for some reason that you need to change you in a relationship, maybe it’s not the right fit. 

Today I am working on being more me and less who I thought people wanted me to be. I move forward as me, as this is the person I want my son to see. I will return anything in the future that doesn’t make me feel good about me!

Enjoying giving it to someone else

There comes a time in a persons life where you can just let your self importance go and focus on someone else. For me that someone else is my son. 

The time where my work out schedule and meal planning meant the most to me. Because what is more important in the world then being trim and terrific…right? Wrong! Trim has nothing on being nurturing, selfless or even someone else’s world. My baby relies on me just the way I am each and everyday. Especially so when they hurt or are feeling sick. 

So while I sit and wished I had gone for my morning walk to be closer to the worlds view of a “perfect body”. I am quietly enjoying the love of my little baby. 

We Mum’s are lucky that target, Kmart and many other variety stores have a decent range of garments to pull in that Mummy tummy and help the world see less of the destruction of a body that made the most precious gift in this world. 

I do get out of the house for walks, but the gym is a place I once dreamed for this life. I am going to enjoy it, every single cold drop of coffee or tea!

As a new Mum I am absolutely certain a black smock, black leggings and a couple of nice capes could be a go to staple. I’ve even made my house bound Day a bit fancy with some lipstick. My hair did not take priority today as my son needed cuddles,  and that my friends is more important than straight hair!