Comfortable Friday 

Well if last Friday was good Friday, today is comfortable Friday. I am totally Mumming it today. With a baby that wishes to be held all the time I have my hands full.

The body take overs for Mothers begins in pregnancy, what the world forget to mention is you will never be here for you. Your body, mind, (sleep) and bed are all shared once that baby enters the world. 

What I wished and hoped for in my pre baby life on a Friday was a big cold cider, some salty hot chips and some belly laughs with my work mates. Now days I’d be happy to sleep past 6am! I would also love take away on the couch, that will be eaten with both hands and maybe a glass of red. All in silence, no laughter or words needed. 

Maybe maternity leave is to keep non child baring people seperate from the throws of the real life of new parents. My conversation topics these days have evolved, just like my activities of choice.

My baby slows me down, reminds me that the washing can wait. All that house work, and driving about has nothing on baby cuddles. These are Fridays money can’t buy. 

That coffee Mum

Shout out to the other Mum’s who are getting out and about with their little ones. Before child, if I were going for a walk with my friends I would be up 10 minutes before the walk to throw on clothes, brush my teeth and fill my water bottle. After child I’m up at least an hour and a half before, minimum! Now I have to dress myself, feed myself and baby, prepare bottles, nappies and 2 changes of clothes and dress the baby appropriately. This hour and a half evens puts in a small baby nap prior to storming out the door.

Walks these days can be a jolted dance of walking fast, slow, over bumps or picking up my 7kgs of a baby and walking in between cries. I walk with other Mums as they understand me. I walk with other Mums because I was once the friend without kids who didn’t understand tired or even fathom a decent reason to being late. I walk with other mums so I’m not judged on my whaling baby, or stared at to pick him up and stop him straight away. 

I then turn to coffee after this great walk as I need the caffeine to get me through the next many daylight hours of feeding, crying, walking and rocking. I will never again call women “the coffee mum’s” as I snigger at them. I will never judge a woman who chooses to stay at home with their little ones. Work is definitely an easier option on some days. My coffee date saves me, makes me feel human and adult for a blink in my day. And all of this with other Mum’s who have become my wolf pack. 

The best thing about my new wolf pack is I don’t have to always look my best. And I am the least judged I have ever felt in my life. Happy days.

Today I’m sporting my natural fizzy hair, h&m basic t shirt and maxi skirt from st frock. Today my outfit is fit for the couch after my coffee date with the mum’s! 

Not what I ordered

Just like a take away meal, you don’t always get in life what you ordered. It’s the way you deal with the unexpected that matters. A lot of the time it really depends what is given to you instead of what you ordered that can make or break you. Sometimes you discover a prize dish, or life changing event. Or sometimes you feel ripped off as you really wished for what you had originally ordered.

This is the story of my life at the moment. For me all I wanted was a vanilla flavoured life. Sometime simple  with a splash of adventure from time to time. Oh hell I would have been happy with just plain jane vanilla. But I got the flavour that no one ever really orders. It’s as if I ordered chilli chocolate ice cream. But for me there is far too much chilli and the cream is curdled beyond fixing.

Sometimes you have to take that order back and ask whoever it is in charge to start again. And so I am currently back at the take away shop, waiting for the vanilla life I long for. All in all I haven’t lost hope for my original order. I am not asking for more then I ordered and not asking for anything beyond the rainbow.

My new order does come with a small human. He is telling me that it’s important to get the order right, it’s important that he has a happy Mumma. 

Look and much like this asos dress (it’s made out of stretchy material like a t shirt) I am open for getting more then I ordered. Lets be honest everyone loves getting an extra potato cake or dimsim. 

New found glory

Before child I recall the things that got me excited. I used to love to try a new place to eat and hang out with the in people. Now my pleasure is much easier reach with a movie in peace on the couch with a home made delight and cheap glass of wine. 

A lot of things have changed. I also find fun in shopping in my own wardrobe (or 101 space bagged clothes). I laugh and throw out some of my bad choices. But I also bask in the glory of finding a treasure I buried and forgot. 

As my baby naps I sit and watch Gatsby for the first time. What a fabulous array of gorgeous fashion! Now people you do know where you may find a slice of this wonderful fashion? If not in your Nan’s wardrobe but in your local op shop! 

In my early days of work I always admired a lady’s fashion choices. She was always looking fresh, colourful and quirky. Her secret- only buying from op shops. Her exception was a new seasonal pair of shoes. Now the purse strings are tight I may need to venture more so into the local op shop. I am no second hand snob. I feel these treasure are hidden and waiting for their next adventure. It is also good for the environment. Another thing that has changed!

While I enjoy being a Mum, wearing my child’s latest spew explosion, I look forward to my first night out. I was no lover of pregnancy and haven’t felt it to be right timing to unleash myself on the public. A new Mum can be too raw and real for the public eye. 

Becoming a parent means switching a few things of yesterday and finding a new kind of fun. When I’m in my car and the right song comes on I am back where ever that song takes me. My glory days were fantastic. I regret nothing and lived, laughed and partied as hard as I could.

Today I found a dress in my cupboard I found in one of my local op shops. This dress has a 70’s flare. It is perfect for lounging and spending time with bubs and my fur family. It also allows this Mumma bear to enjoy a choccie or two! 

Give the Mum’s a break!

As I sit sipping on my coffee as my tiny stick of dynamite (my son) has a snooze I am getting over the news. Having been awake since the early hours of the morning- your not breaking any news 10 times over. I love an over exaggerated story but do we need to blow it up and repeat it 1000 times before I have my morning coffee break? 

Since becoming a Mum I feel I have slipped back into my advocate boots. I do walk with my head held high and have no problem saying my two bobs worth and this topic is no different. For my friends who believe maternity leave is a holiday- it is not! Having a baby is also not a means to get out of work, in my work it would be easier to go to work. Unlike my employed childless friends I do not get annual leave from this, a coffee break is as long or as quick as the baby stays quiet. And yes I chose this life and am ever so grateful. 

Also Mum’s know tired, it is torturous at times. Again I would not change a thing, I just now look at other mothers differently. I also look at heavily pregnant people running about thinking I wish I could tell you to put your feet up and have a rest. 

If I am lucky enough to have another baby one piece of advice I’m giving myself is a babymoon, and just for me. I want to go away for a night to a lovely BnB near the sea. I will sleep like a star fish in the bed, sip on hot tea, eat with both hands and not worry about my next load of washing! I will also enjoy some toilet time without having to rush back to a roaring baby.

Oh how wonderful is hind sight? 

Today I am again supporting small businesses and wearing another Little Party Dress frock. It’s for my Easter celebrations with my beautiful high school friends and mother group. Only my son didn’t get the memo and is sleeping through the time I was supposed to be thrashing through Coles. Oh well life can wait for a minute ­čśŐ

We all have “our people”

Being a new Mum and being social had me biting at the bit to join Mothers group. Some people love it and I’m sure some people loath it.

In the initial stages I recall desperately seeking out friendships. I probably even blogged about just wanting to be friends with anyone who was interested. But in reality we only really form bonds or friendships with people we consider “our people”. If you think deeply about this along the track of life you may have had friends for a season. These are the people who push your boundaries and live slightly off your grid. They are great for a purpose but you will sit back and Years or even months and think “what the hell was that?”! I know I’ve had them and by all means they were fun, in my 20’s and before baby. 

Now I really just want to gather more of “my people”. They lighten the load and connect me to me. They share the same values, have deep and interesting conversations, we laugh at the same things and even have similar interests and ideas. 

I am flattered as today I was having coffee with someone who hand picked me as “their people”. It’s nice to make connections in the world, especially as an adult.

While your people don’t always look, dress or even act exactly how you imagine they do make up the puzzle pieces of your life. 

Friendships will be made. And a shallow person may see certain forms of friendship as “using” one. But I put this down to “reasons” for a friendship. Everyone needs a squad who cheer and inspire. For me I love a friend who motivates me both spiritually and physically. I want to be fit but sometimes lack the motivation. Spiritually I know there is something out there to have faith in, I just need some bible bashing from time to time to believe it. I also have wine time friends, and the friend that encourages you to eat (or to give it a miss). 

And I haven’t made close friends in my new circle, but I will. I just won’t love everyone like I do my old people!

Today my dress is from Little Party Dress, a small business who at times I think is part of my people for understanding a curvy lady and mother!

Selflessness builds selfishness 

Who would have thought while attempting to be as selfless as possible I was helping grow someone else’s selfishness. There is a great balancing act that happens in a relationship, a healthy relationship should I point out. In my attempts to be more selfless for my son and in attempts to support my husband I’ve totally forgot the balance. It’s leaving me feel a little empty at the end of each day.

So how am I trying to get the balance right without tipping too far to one side? I am starting small by taking time out to have a cuppa or wine in peace. I’m going to the hair dresser or beautition without as much guilt. As the world keeps on turning. My child’s life will be richer learning that it’s as important to be selfish as it is selfless. 

People will always take advantage, but following my heart (where ever it goes to next), I will attempt to live somewhere in the middle. And a good relationship with your partner in crime will grow this balance.

Just as I attempt to live in the middle I will also live attempting to wear all the pretty things I’ve collected! Today I have an asos maxi dress on. Perfect in between seasons frock!