Having read an article about predispositions and not letting them rule or define you I’m on a mission to work towards mine.
I know my crutch has always been shopping when I feel crummy. Knowing what I know now that doesn’t make me happy. Things do not make me happy, things tie me to debt and block me from my next adventure.
While my adventures don’t go much past feeding on this glorious couch I am determined not to be defined by my down fall.
I think being mindful is the key to breaking free from an addiction or a predisposition. If I thought about why I was buying something then I would probably have a whole lot of fun in my down time.
My other predisposition is to be grumpy and angry when I’m tired. For some reason rather then saying I’m tired and having a nap, becoming Argo has become my other crutch. I live in a society where asking for help is seen as not coping as an adult. But it shouldn’t be seen as that. Only a true warrior asks for help of others. Because if you think of it, how many wars/battles are won by one person? It takes an army of different skilled individuals to win a war.
In the true beauty of healing I am no longer going to flirt with my past. My past is not in front of me. Just like my current position (feeding bubs) it will all pass.
Right now the future looks scary, but it shouldn’t be my focus. Fear can move you forward, but that too should not define who you are. Right now my focus is meal times and nap times and that’s a nice simple life for right now.